Bad Santa
Bad Santa
I am completely anti-secret Santa. I don't care what you it, angel and earthling, gift giving etc. I am very cautious with the process. All my life I have been bullied. From primary school to the workplace I was treated unfairly. I know myself I am easy target for bullies. During primary and secondary school I cried a lot. As I got older I have become a target because I for the most part speak Standard English. It is what it is. I am not here for anyone to feel sorry for me. I am just giving you some back story. Anyway, gift exchange outside of family and friends have always been unpleasant.
My family is not an average middle income family. Whatever money my parents have they make it work. So when I was still of school age when secret Santa was in effect my mother and I would make the effort to go to Trincity mall, Port of Spain, Arima and Chaguanas, basically anywhere to find an appropriate gift. Even if the school set a small budget we would have made that say $20 dollar gift look like $200. We would purchase a nice little card or even have a cute handwritten one and I would wrap the gift up nicely. So when I talk about bad gifts I am not judging them based on their monetary value but on the fact that it was obvious that no thought was put into it what so ever. So I would walk into class with my nicely wrapped gift and everyone would be in awe. When my earthling opened the gift I purchase everyone in class would be watching (mind you I attended private school, while there were some of us who came from middle class household there were quite a few you would very financially well off and the way my school operated it wasn't the place to send your child if you were living pay to pay cheque, those students usually left) and be amazed. However, when I received my gift, my secret Santa was always the person who liked me the least and their gift didn’t exactly hide the fact. How do you think I felt and me looking back at the process my mom and I went through how any parent would feel when you sacrifice and make the most of what you have to make sure some other child smile but your child is treated not even on the same level. I would have appreciated anything. I would have liked pair of socks, hair accessories, anything but a lot of the time the gifts were used, old and sometimes items I would never even think to give to a homeless shelter. During that era it was common to give a girl a doll and a boy a water gun which are all fine gifts. But some (mostly the rich children) would bring these puzzles that were not very practical and by the condition of the item you could tell it was being re-gifted. There was this one girl, I can’t recall who she gave it to but she gave someone a crossword puzzle book. Now y’ll probably thinking ‘Wow she sounds ungrateful’. Well the book in question had been written up in and the pages were slightly yellow so it was obviously dinged with age. Frankly at the time my teachers used to hold the parents responsible but I believe that children should not be trusted for something like gift giving. In those days, it was by word of mouth. Only later in my schooling teachers started writing formal letters. I believed some students would have told their parents that they wanted to buy a present for their friend, one that the parent is aware of, so they would buy them an appropriate gift. In the case of the girl with the crossword puzzle book, she didn’t tell her parents about the gift exchange, so she just brought whatever was lying around the house.
This brings to mind one of the lowest points in my life regarding gift exchange. I was in form two. We had a gift exchange but we called it ‘Angel and Earthling’. Our teacher told us that we should do nice things such as leave small tokens each day until the day of the class party when we would present the big gift. The tokens could have been anything from written note, some people left dinner mints, Bobbies (I know in 2016 that sounds cheap but at the time it made sense but we all thought it was nice), even an act of kindness (which in hindsight makes the process less than secret as people would obviously know if you suddenly started being nice to them). Unfortunately my classmates didn’t hid their disdain for me therefore when they received my name it was always a big joke and a laugh. When everyone got their daily trinkets and kind gestures, I usually received nothing (when you aren’t even worth a Diana power mint things are bad lol). The culmination of the entire festivities would occur, it would be the time to share gifts. My mother and I would have purchased a lovely thoughtful gift. I was given a gift that wasn’t wrapped, it was just handed to me and if I was not mistaken just the way the whole thing went down you could tell it was last minute and that she put no thought into it (mind you I have purchased gifts the day before but you would never know because I would at least purchase a gift bag and some crepe paper in the store, take two minutes to put it nicely in the bag and write something in the card). When we were done with the exchange she immediately went to do so with her friends. I distinctively remember the gift she gave her friend. It was a bag filled with Lisa Frank (Lisa Frank was quite popular then and very expensive. I recalled the first time hearing about it from my classmate in primary school it was $75. My parents bought my sister and I these huge sets and I could only imagine how much they costed). The bag was yellow and fluffy that was very appropriate for a girl. It threw me over the edge. I am not emotionally attached now but I keep thinking could you imagine being handed a gift that had no thought whatsoever, not wrapped, was very cheap looking in appearance and less than five minutes later that person is in a corner surprising a friend with a very expensive gift. At thirteen that was hard to see and at twenty six, I just find that so tacky.
After casting a dark cloud with these experiences, let’s bring some sun shine.
Here are some gift giving tips
Get to know the person you are purchasing for. I observe and I saw that my co-worker used to eat sweets. So I gave her a baskets of candies, cookies anything sweet you name it.
Presentation is key. Gift bags are inexpensive and they are more eye catching than wrapping gifts. Some choose to wrap the gift and place it in the bag. That is optional, you can just get some kite paper and place it in the bag and then put the gift at the bottom or sometimes I wrap the gifts in the kite paper and bind it together with craft ribbon. If you have time you can do the technique with the scissors and curl the ends of the ribbon. Sometimes I put little notes in the bag written on Bristol board or scrapbook paper.
Shop around. You can do so much with $20. My mom once received box with little bible readings and positive affirmations. It isn’t a fool proof gift but can you really reject a gift with positive and kind words without looking foolish?
With that being said in this day and age I think secret Santa would be great among friends. People nowadays have too many nuances for gift giving among strangers (i.e. co-workers) to really go down smoothly. Sweets used to be a fool proof gift unless the person had some special dietary needs but with so many people gluten free, classic gifts may even be a challenge.
I am completely anti-secret Santa. I don't care what you it, angel and earthling, gift giving etc. I am very cautious with the process. All my life I have been bullied. From primary school to the workplace I was treated unfairly. I know myself I am easy target for bullies. During primary and secondary school I cried a lot. As I got older I have become a target because I for the most part speak Standard English. It is what it is. I am not here for anyone to feel sorry for me. I am just giving you some back story. Anyway, gift exchange outside of family and friends have always been unpleasant.
My family is not an average middle income family. Whatever money my parents have they make it work. So when I was still of school age when secret Santa was in effect my mother and I would make the effort to go to Trincity mall, Port of Spain, Arima and Chaguanas, basically anywhere to find an appropriate gift. Even if the school set a small budget we would have made that say $20 dollar gift look like $200. We would purchase a nice little card or even have a cute handwritten one and I would wrap the gift up nicely. So when I talk about bad gifts I am not judging them based on their monetary value but on the fact that it was obvious that no thought was put into it what so ever. So I would walk into class with my nicely wrapped gift and everyone would be in awe. When my earthling opened the gift I purchase everyone in class would be watching (mind you I attended private school, while there were some of us who came from middle class household there were quite a few you would very financially well off and the way my school operated it wasn't the place to send your child if you were living pay to pay cheque, those students usually left) and be amazed. However, when I received my gift, my secret Santa was always the person who liked me the least and their gift didn’t exactly hide the fact. How do you think I felt and me looking back at the process my mom and I went through how any parent would feel when you sacrifice and make the most of what you have to make sure some other child smile but your child is treated not even on the same level. I would have appreciated anything. I would have liked pair of socks, hair accessories, anything but a lot of the time the gifts were used, old and sometimes items I would never even think to give to a homeless shelter. During that era it was common to give a girl a doll and a boy a water gun which are all fine gifts. But some (mostly the rich children) would bring these puzzles that were not very practical and by the condition of the item you could tell it was being re-gifted. There was this one girl, I can’t recall who she gave it to but she gave someone a crossword puzzle book. Now y’ll probably thinking ‘Wow she sounds ungrateful’. Well the book in question had been written up in and the pages were slightly yellow so it was obviously dinged with age. Frankly at the time my teachers used to hold the parents responsible but I believe that children should not be trusted for something like gift giving. In those days, it was by word of mouth. Only later in my schooling teachers started writing formal letters. I believed some students would have told their parents that they wanted to buy a present for their friend, one that the parent is aware of, so they would buy them an appropriate gift. In the case of the girl with the crossword puzzle book, she didn’t tell her parents about the gift exchange, so she just brought whatever was lying around the house.
This brings to mind one of the lowest points in my life regarding gift exchange. I was in form two. We had a gift exchange but we called it ‘Angel and Earthling’. Our teacher told us that we should do nice things such as leave small tokens each day until the day of the class party when we would present the big gift. The tokens could have been anything from written note, some people left dinner mints, Bobbies (I know in 2016 that sounds cheap but at the time it made sense but we all thought it was nice), even an act of kindness (which in hindsight makes the process less than secret as people would obviously know if you suddenly started being nice to them). Unfortunately my classmates didn’t hid their disdain for me therefore when they received my name it was always a big joke and a laugh. When everyone got their daily trinkets and kind gestures, I usually received nothing (when you aren’t even worth a Diana power mint things are bad lol). The culmination of the entire festivities would occur, it would be the time to share gifts. My mother and I would have purchased a lovely thoughtful gift. I was given a gift that wasn’t wrapped, it was just handed to me and if I was not mistaken just the way the whole thing went down you could tell it was last minute and that she put no thought into it (mind you I have purchased gifts the day before but you would never know because I would at least purchase a gift bag and some crepe paper in the store, take two minutes to put it nicely in the bag and write something in the card). When we were done with the exchange she immediately went to do so with her friends. I distinctively remember the gift she gave her friend. It was a bag filled with Lisa Frank (Lisa Frank was quite popular then and very expensive. I recalled the first time hearing about it from my classmate in primary school it was $75. My parents bought my sister and I these huge sets and I could only imagine how much they costed). The bag was yellow and fluffy that was very appropriate for a girl. It threw me over the edge. I am not emotionally attached now but I keep thinking could you imagine being handed a gift that had no thought whatsoever, not wrapped, was very cheap looking in appearance and less than five minutes later that person is in a corner surprising a friend with a very expensive gift. At thirteen that was hard to see and at twenty six, I just find that so tacky.
After casting a dark cloud with these experiences, let’s bring some sun shine.
Here are some gift giving tips
Get to know the person you are purchasing for. I observe and I saw that my co-worker used to eat sweets. So I gave her a baskets of candies, cookies anything sweet you name it.
Presentation is key. Gift bags are inexpensive and they are more eye catching than wrapping gifts. Some choose to wrap the gift and place it in the bag. That is optional, you can just get some kite paper and place it in the bag and then put the gift at the bottom or sometimes I wrap the gifts in the kite paper and bind it together with craft ribbon. If you have time you can do the technique with the scissors and curl the ends of the ribbon. Sometimes I put little notes in the bag written on Bristol board or scrapbook paper.
Shop around. You can do so much with $20. My mom once received box with little bible readings and positive affirmations. It isn’t a fool proof gift but can you really reject a gift with positive and kind words without looking foolish?
With that being said in this day and age I think secret Santa would be great among friends. People nowadays have too many nuances for gift giving among strangers (i.e. co-workers) to really go down smoothly. Sweets used to be a fool proof gift unless the person had some special dietary needs but with so many people gluten free, classic gifts may even be a challenge.
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