Outside looking straight in.
As a child, I never quite fit in. The older I got, I was certain I never really wanted to. I just wanted to be me. This mentality is quite difficult growing up in the society that I was raised in. While not as drastic as countries of the East, and I am sure to some extent, even in the West people want to belong, the Caribbean is a special place.
Most Caribbean people enjoy spending time with family and friends. Partying, feting and liming, as we like to refer to it as, is seen as the norm. If you didn't want to do this each and every chance you get, you are referred to as weird, anti-social, "doh like people." Imagine how it was and still is for me, bookworm Jeanne Marie. Don't get me wrong, every once in a while I will go out, maybe two three times a year. For a Caribbean person, primarily a Trinidad and Tobago citizen that would be considered blasphemy.
It is quite normal for Caribbean people to strike up a conversation with just about anyone. When I say anyone I mean anyone. I would walk down the road and a random guy decided to comment about my hair and what he thinks I should do with it. No. I don't know this man. Somehow he thinks his advice is needed. So it wouldn't come as a shock that many Caribbean people have friends, posses, clips, squads or whatever you want to call it that could make up an entire football team. In fact way more than that. Let's just say I have been invited to gatherings that were decided for close friends and it consist of more than twenty five (25) individuals. It is expected that anywhere you go you are supposed to strike up a conversation. So where does that leave me. Now I am not socially inept. I am fully capable of speaking to others but I am not a small talk type person. I prefer genuine conversation where it is easy or we bond over common interest. Most of my close group of friends, I didn't just start to talking to them randomly at an event. They are usually people from work, school or individuals from sort of group or organization. I admit I am not really comfortable speaking to people in a social gathering when I am not their friends., meaning don't leave me with your boyfriend or your best friend expecting I would just start talking to them. HELLO AWKWARD.
Am I the only one who feels this way?
Am I just an outside looking in? Do I need to change?
Most Caribbean people enjoy spending time with family and friends. Partying, feting and liming, as we like to refer to it as, is seen as the norm. If you didn't want to do this each and every chance you get, you are referred to as weird, anti-social, "doh like people." Imagine how it was and still is for me, bookworm Jeanne Marie. Don't get me wrong, every once in a while I will go out, maybe two three times a year. For a Caribbean person, primarily a Trinidad and Tobago citizen that would be considered blasphemy.
It is quite normal for Caribbean people to strike up a conversation with just about anyone. When I say anyone I mean anyone. I would walk down the road and a random guy decided to comment about my hair and what he thinks I should do with it. No. I don't know this man. Somehow he thinks his advice is needed. So it wouldn't come as a shock that many Caribbean people have friends, posses, clips, squads or whatever you want to call it that could make up an entire football team. In fact way more than that. Let's just say I have been invited to gatherings that were decided for close friends and it consist of more than twenty five (25) individuals. It is expected that anywhere you go you are supposed to strike up a conversation. So where does that leave me. Now I am not socially inept. I am fully capable of speaking to others but I am not a small talk type person. I prefer genuine conversation where it is easy or we bond over common interest. Most of my close group of friends, I didn't just start to talking to them randomly at an event. They are usually people from work, school or individuals from sort of group or organization. I admit I am not really comfortable speaking to people in a social gathering when I am not their friends., meaning don't leave me with your boyfriend or your best friend expecting I would just start talking to them. HELLO AWKWARD.
Am I the only one who feels this way?
Am I just an outside looking in? Do I need to change?
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