Trusting God during difficult times
It is common place to think of God as our Father. This supreme being an entity. Often we think of him in such abstract terms. We think of him as this far away deity that we cannot see or feel. But can we? I don't just think of God as my Father, I think of Him as my friend. Just like my earthly friends, God and I have our arguments and disagreements. Unlike my earthly friends who may wrong me or I wronged them. In my relationship with God, only one of us is guilty of doing wrong. But the finger points directly at me.
Sometimes I fail to trust God. Casing point, 2014 was my lowest year. From the first time I ever sought out employment, I would always be successful. I would always apply to a job, and less than a week later, I would be given a response and I would ALWAYS be successful at the interview. When I mean ALWAYS. I mean ALWAYS, every single time. So of course I became cocky. I thought I was the queen of interviews. I felt like I was god like when it came to interviews, that I was the boss. Of course when you start to let pride seep in, you forget where that greatness came from. Mind you I always prayed when I wanted a job. It wasn't like I completely abandoned God, it was that when I got the job, sometimes I would forget to thank God. Unless I was desperate. In fact I recall in 2013, when I didn't hear from a company after a week, I was like wait, I went on a job interview and I didn't get through. That just doesn't happen to Jeanne Marie Thompson. Lol. Back to 2014, I would apply to job, after job and I wouldn't even get the opportunity to interview. I was working for my parents from January to July. While it was good to have free transport and food, that loss of independence and the fact that my salary was coming from my parents, like an independent thinking person like myself that was a blow to my ego. So while working there, I was applying for jobs. By October when I hadn't heard from anyone, I became despondent. Finally when I did get a job interview, they promised they would call and they never did. It made me so depressed. I was at my lowest point. On top of that I finally was successful in my quest to attain my masters in Psychology. For two (2) years I had been applying to university to university and seldom even got a response. So on top of not having a job, I had no academic future. You could only imagine how I felt. When I got accepted to the university I am now currently attending, I had so may financial obstacles that was coming in my path, I honestly didn't get excited about attending this university until I had my visa in my hand. Even then, I wasn't satisfied until I landed in London and paid my tuition. Each week, I go by expecting something dramatic to happen. It is only in the last few weeks, I have been able to relax.
So you are probably wondering why this whole dissertation I just wrote. Well from the first week of 2015, I kept seeing posts on Facebook saying this is your year to shine, in 2015, God is going to perform great wonders for your life. It wasn't until I read that I really started to feel that there was a reason for my hardships. Besides the fact that your girl needed a serious humbling, God was telling me that I wasn't ready. He was saying be still, have patience. Three (3) years ago while I had confidence and independence, I still heavily relied on others approval, I still was a child. There was no way in heaven and earth that I could have come to London and not fall apart. God was simply preparing me for my journey. There is a saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. That is exactly what He is doing. If I take that exact approach to my relationships, it is the same way. With each person that enters my life, I can learn from that experience. Each individual that has come into my life of course I have moments wondering why they ever entered, but it made me realize what I didn't want in friends, in partners, in boyfriends/husbands. With each person, I realized improved on the last bad experience I had and I know soon, I will meet the people that will be in my life for good and to stay.
My message is, don't chide yourself for your low moments when you think no one loves you. God understands that during those difficult times, it may be hard to see Him but He is there. Just remember that and He is going to take you out of it.
Amen.
Sometimes I fail to trust God. Casing point, 2014 was my lowest year. From the first time I ever sought out employment, I would always be successful. I would always apply to a job, and less than a week later, I would be given a response and I would ALWAYS be successful at the interview. When I mean ALWAYS. I mean ALWAYS, every single time. So of course I became cocky. I thought I was the queen of interviews. I felt like I was god like when it came to interviews, that I was the boss. Of course when you start to let pride seep in, you forget where that greatness came from. Mind you I always prayed when I wanted a job. It wasn't like I completely abandoned God, it was that when I got the job, sometimes I would forget to thank God. Unless I was desperate. In fact I recall in 2013, when I didn't hear from a company after a week, I was like wait, I went on a job interview and I didn't get through. That just doesn't happen to Jeanne Marie Thompson. Lol. Back to 2014, I would apply to job, after job and I wouldn't even get the opportunity to interview. I was working for my parents from January to July. While it was good to have free transport and food, that loss of independence and the fact that my salary was coming from my parents, like an independent thinking person like myself that was a blow to my ego. So while working there, I was applying for jobs. By October when I hadn't heard from anyone, I became despondent. Finally when I did get a job interview, they promised they would call and they never did. It made me so depressed. I was at my lowest point. On top of that I finally was successful in my quest to attain my masters in Psychology. For two (2) years I had been applying to university to university and seldom even got a response. So on top of not having a job, I had no academic future. You could only imagine how I felt. When I got accepted to the university I am now currently attending, I had so may financial obstacles that was coming in my path, I honestly didn't get excited about attending this university until I had my visa in my hand. Even then, I wasn't satisfied until I landed in London and paid my tuition. Each week, I go by expecting something dramatic to happen. It is only in the last few weeks, I have been able to relax.
So you are probably wondering why this whole dissertation I just wrote. Well from the first week of 2015, I kept seeing posts on Facebook saying this is your year to shine, in 2015, God is going to perform great wonders for your life. It wasn't until I read that I really started to feel that there was a reason for my hardships. Besides the fact that your girl needed a serious humbling, God was telling me that I wasn't ready. He was saying be still, have patience. Three (3) years ago while I had confidence and independence, I still heavily relied on others approval, I still was a child. There was no way in heaven and earth that I could have come to London and not fall apart. God was simply preparing me for my journey. There is a saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. That is exactly what He is doing. If I take that exact approach to my relationships, it is the same way. With each person that enters my life, I can learn from that experience. Each individual that has come into my life of course I have moments wondering why they ever entered, but it made me realize what I didn't want in friends, in partners, in boyfriends/husbands. With each person, I realized improved on the last bad experience I had and I know soon, I will meet the people that will be in my life for good and to stay.
My message is, don't chide yourself for your low moments when you think no one loves you. God understands that during those difficult times, it may be hard to see Him but He is there. Just remember that and He is going to take you out of it.
Amen.
Amen!!
ReplyDeleteAmen. Thanks for stopping by.
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